Anti-Climactic Moment of the Week

I manage a warehouse for a fence-manufacturing company and that warehouse is located in an industrial park with other light-industrial businesses.  When I have a few moments to spare during the day, I like to stroll over to the other side of the industrial park to the soda machine.  Of course I peek in all of the dumpsters along the way.  One particular day during my stroll, I noticed someone placing an item into a dumpster.  Not really uncommon; except that he then proceeded to cover the item with trash already in the dumpster in an attempt to conceal it.  In the middle of an uneventful day, this bit of intrigue set my mind into overdrive.

On closer inspection, I saw that the item was an old trunk.  Oh boy!  There could have been anything in this trunk.  The fact that the guy who dumped it went to the trouble to try and conceal it made it even more interesting.  Drugs, incriminating photos, counterfit money, severed body parts; the possibilities were endless.  I uncovered the trunk and undid the latches; but found that the lock was engaged.  I walked back to the warehouse and retrieved some screwdrivers with which to pop the lock.  The anticipation was mounting.

I popped the lock and pushed back the lid to reveal...

A bunch of useless, boring junk.  What a letdown!  Instead of  severed body parts I get...

Precious Moments fugurines!

Blech!  I did, however take the trunk (after emptying out all of the offensive cutesy trinkets).  Maybe I will make a "monster in a box" out of it.

Uhh... I'll have a Mark Of The Beast Meal with a Coke please.

Every now and again I am prone to gluttony.  When I am in this state, I do what all real Americans do.  I head over to McDonalds.  Of course, there is one conveniently located for my lunch break.

Because gluttony is one of my favorite of the seven deadly sins, I have found the perfect combination of food items that will not only make me feel like a bloated pig; but also comes with a perverse little bonus.  If I order two cheeseburgers in a large-sized combo meal plus two cherry pies the total comes to...

That's right, $6.66.  Wash that down with a Coke and it makes for a devilishly good lunch.

Power Squid Redoux

 I saw this little guy at the university book store as I was buying some books this semester.  I am always in need of more outlets in the garage so I purchased him and brought him home.

 Just look at that cute face.  He definately needs a makeover.

 All I needed was a few minutes and my trusty Super Sharpie to transform something innocuous into a thing of beauty.

Here's a close-up of the finished skull.  Much more presentable if you ask me.

"Safety first little Ghost Rider" ..."Aww, Mom. I don't wanna wear a helmet"

Snapped a couple of pictures of my son, Noah (5 years old).  He made an interesting combo with a snowmobile helmet (found while dumpster diving) and an unfinished skull mask (Clearance from Michaels).  I am always fascinated and delighted with (and a little jealous of) the natural creativity of young children.

Under the sea...Under the sea

 Our oldest daughter turned eight last week and she is really into the Monster High dolls.  We wanted to make her a cake that went along with a doll that we had purchased as a present.  This particular doll is supposed to be some sort of sea creature; so that was the theme of this year's cake.  We frosted the cake blue and added some crushed graham crackers to make a beach.  We also molded some sea critters out of Starburst Fruit Chews...yummy!  Below are some close-ups of the little guys.

A Very Zombie Xmas

We started a new tradition at our house this year.  On Christmas Eve, we gathered around the table and made gingerbread houses.  Of course, the general theme was North Pole or Winter Wonderland.  I decided to go in another direction.  Imagine a different kind of visitor on Christmas...

The main structural material was graham crackers, not gingerbread.  I also made the tombstones and coffin and boarded up the windows and doors with graham crackers.  The shingles on the house are made with mini Nilla Wafers.  Instead of frosting, I used peanut butter to cement everything together.  The zombies are made with a toothpick frame covered in gumdrop bits and green fruity licorice.

Early Christmas

Christmas came early for this haunter.  I paid for my annual subscription to Hauntcast and added a little extra for a T-shirt.  What a great Chrisatmas present.  Thanks, Chris!

Witch Jars, Halloween Lanterns, or Whatever.

Okay, like everybody else out there, I took one look at Pumpkinrot's witch jars and decided that I needed some for my display.  I love the creepy atmosphere that you get from a candle inside a dirty, ancient-looking glass holder with some questionable stains dripping down the sides.  The only problem I could see with Pumpkinrot's method was that my haunt is of the classic cemetery style, and the mason jar look was a little too "back-woods".  So I decided to find a glass container that looked as if it was made for the sole purpose of holding a candle.

I work next door to a company that recycles glass for use in its products.  They have bins out in front of their facility for the public to drop off glass items.  I am a shameless dumpster diver and frequently stroll by the bins looking for interesting items.  I found a bottle that was wider and taller than normal.  I thought that this would make a great candle holder if I could just remove the top.

I soaked the bottle in warm, soapy water to aid in removing the label.

I found a product online called Ephrem's Bottle Cutter Kit.  It has a variety of different uses for anyone looking to repurpose glass bottles or jars.

The bottle cutter has three rollers and one cutting wheel, making it useful for cutting only round bottles and jars.

The bottle is placed on the rollers so that the desired location of the score rests on the cutting wheel.  Constant, even pressure is placed on the bottle and it is rotated clockwise until the bottle is scored completely around its circumference and the cutting wheel begins to make a grinding sound.  Be careful not to over-rotate the bottle.  This can cause a bad or uneven score and can decrease the longevity of the cutting wheel.

Here is the bottle with a nice, even scoring line around its top.

Now, contrary to the name of the kit, Ephrem's Bottle Cutting Kit does not actually cut the bottle; but rather scores the glass of the bottle.  In order to remove the bottle's top, heat must be applied to the glass along the scoring line.  I lay the bottle on its side for this step.

Next, I place a candle beneath the bottle with the flame under the scoring line.  I tried to do this step with a butane torch; but it heated up the glass too quickly and caused it to fragment.  The bottle is slowly rotated, heating up the scoring line.  Try to do this as evenly as possible.

Here is the bottle with its top removed.  The cut edges of the glass are extremely sharp.  I use coarse sandpaper to rough up the edges.  I also remove the ring of soot left by the candle.

Here is another departure from Pumpkinrot's method.  He uses a coat of diluted white glue to cloud the surface of the glass.  I decided to try good, old-fashioned mud; mostly because I am cheap and mud is free but also because deep down I am always looking for an excuse to play in the mud.

After being dunked in the mud, the bottle rests on some newspaper and dries overnight.

Here is the nice, crusty bottle.

Using an old rag, I wipe the surface of the bottle down to leave it with a more irregular coating of dirt.

To give the bottle some color, I use black, red, and green paint.  I have some nice, fat brushes and I water the paint down a lot.  I start with the black and go over the entire surface of the bottle inside and out.  Next, I use the red and green on the inside surface of the bottle and drag the paintbrush along to rim, letting the colors randomly drip down the inside of the glass.

Here is the finished lantern with flash.

Here is the finished lantern without flash.

Please Consider Me as an Alternative to the Landfill.

I have received a reputation around my workplace as a Dumpster Diver.  Many of the conversations I have with my co-workers begin like this:  "Hey, Phil.  We were going to throw this away.  Do you want it?"  Well this reputation really paid off recently when I scored these babies.  Can you say, "Cha-ching!"

These are hollow plastic columns, finished to look like stone.  They look awesome.  These will be the posts for my cemetary fence this year.  I will space them about eight feet apart with some PVC pipe panels in between.    Because they are hollow, I can see myself wiring up lighting, speakers, and even fog machines inside them.

Here is a picture of one with my son added for scale.  They are almost six feet tall.  I scored about twelve of them.  More than enough to encircle my small front lawn.

Being hollow, they make an excellent storage spot for all of the PVC pipe that I also rescued from the dumpster at work.  You know, it's true what they say; it's not the pay but the perks that make a job worthwhile.

Dumpster Diving is the Life For Me

I manage a warehouse in an industrial complex in Smithfield, Utah.  Next door is a buisness that recycles glass, grids it up, and sells it for use in decorative concrete flooring and such.  They have bins out in front of their building where people can deposit their jars, bottles, and other glassware to be recycled.  I have reclaimed quite a few cool specimens in my dumpster-diving adventures.  This is some kind of giant beaker.  I can just see it on the shelf of a mad scientist somewhere.